Parental fears....

Ok...so this will be somewhat serious....and somewhat comical...there are many aspects of parenting that scare the you know what out of me....it started with the normal fears of bringing home a newborn...feeding schedules, lack of sleep, when to feed solids...should I give Tylenol, vaccines....eating cheerios off the floor...formula vs. breastmilk...always wondering what was best...and eventually finding out, ultimately, there was no right answer....it actually ends up being what best works for us....

I know that I have done things that some parents would cringe at...but between my "mother's intuition" and trusting my pediatrician....I have made decisions that have best worked for our family.  It still makes me laugh that I will say something that my kids are doing....and I get feedback on how I am doing it all wrong...by a complete stranger :)  Go figure...

Since having Austin (precious baby #4) just 3 years after having Katelyn (sweet baby #1) most "new baby" fears were out the window.  He just goes with the flow :)  So now that we are approaching the 1st birthday of Austin (tear...sniffle, sniffle), I am looking into the near future....and the not so near future of things that I am just not ready for....

Potty Training
This is a current battle I am having...I have two 2 year old boys that I am honestly dreading (don't judge) to potty train.  One has a little interest...one has no interest...and I am not emotionally, physically ready to start this process....this is why it is on hold.  However, I realize it is in inevitable that the boys MUST learn how to use the bathroom without a diaper :)  I think it is just the idea of getting both of them trained...and turning around and seeing that it will be time to train Austin....that is ALOT of potty training.  I still stand by the hope that Austin will magically potty train himself after watching two brothers go through the process LOL....ok...maybe not

ER Trips
With 4 kiddos....3 being boys....I can only imagine the ER trips we might take...the very fear of my children being injured scares me.  But, yes, I know it will eventually happen.  My brother's had there trips in and out from falling off four-wheelers, playing sports, etc...I had my trips with broken arms and sprained ankles....so I know it is going to happen...and man I hope I can keep my cool.  Prayer will be my best friend, I know...

Broken Hearts/Breaking Hearts
Ok...this is two-fold....first, I hate the idea of my kids heart ever being broken...whether it be by failure to achieve a goal, not making a team, not feeling included, or feeling lonely.  We have begun their little lives with teachings about Jesus...and the love they have no matter how alone they may feel.  I pray that this remains their foundation and they seek Him in time of comfort.  On the other side...I pray for my children to have kind hearts...that they do not hurt another person in any way.  I, of course, don't want to have a child that bullies, says hurtful things or decieves others.  In all honesty, I know that both of these things will happen.  I pray that these are situations that I can use as teaching tools for my kids.

Facebook
I know that, yes, I am on Facebook...but I can't imagine the day that my kids are...what if they won't be my friend!?!

Cell Phones
The bills, the texting, the inability to spell words correctly due to texting...you get my idea...I do not want to lose my kids to technology.  There will be some serious rules around this one :)

The first boyfriend/girlfriend
So...I know I got a while on this...(at least I better) but, as a parent...I am just hoping this never happens :)  Too much to ask??  Well, if it does...I am hoping that my daughter has a good head on her shoulders....and that I raise my boys in a manner that they KNOW how to treat a lady. 

Driving Cars
I did not get my license until I was 17 years old....I was in a wreck 3 months prior to turning 16 and it scared me off the road...until I was 17.  So, I am not looking forward to the kids driving off into the sunset....I might just be one of those crazy parents that puts GPS on my kids cars/phones/whatever device they have to keep track of where they are at all times.  I know this sounds like I expect the worst from my kiddos...I don't...but I just have these fears of the unknown happening.

Senior Trip
All I have to say is....my kids will not go...nothing good happens on these...people disappear...rules are broken...things get bad.  We will take a wonderful family trip instead :)

Ok...so I KNOW this is random...but these are things that I think about when I look into the eyes of my sweet little children.  I know that God has a plan for their life...I pray that I am able to give them the tools they need to seek that life. 

Happy Thursday!!

My child is a statistic....

So, have you heard of silica gel??? You know...the little packets of "stuff" that comes in new boxes of shoes...purses...packages...all kinds of stuff...well, I randomly came across this article today...and it caught my eye...

According to this article...34,000 children under the age of six ingested this stuff...resulting in a call to poison control...guess who one of those mom's was??? That's right...me...I admit it...Katelyn ate some out of a box of new shoes I bought...

Please...don't judge me...

Have a great Monday :)

Good Friday Highlights...

Well, it has been a wonderful and busy day...a few highlights before starting the busy Easter weekend...

• I had a playdate with three wonderful women and their sweet kiddos....plus I brought ALL four of mine. This was a first for me...I have never taken all 4 kiddos with me anywhere and done all the loading and unloading (which takes master skill LOL). I am fortunate to have my husband with me on most occassions. It is tough for two eyes to keep track of six moving little legs and a baby but overall it went really well!! I am SO THANKFUL for the wonderful friends I had that helped me keep up with my crew. I will say that it wore me out :) We all went to see daddy after and grab lunch...and then we headed home for naps :)


• While on the playground I recieved the best.compliment.ever....I had rounded up the three older kids to a bench to take a 5 minute break and grab a drink of water, where an older woman sat there and smiled at me. My first thought, she thinks I am crazy and probably is thinking I need a good talk about where babies come from...(I get this often). However, she surprised me with simply saying, "My twins are 35 years old now, you are going to have so much fun"....I sighed with relief, as if I just realized I was talking to an old friend (something I love about meeting other twin moms) and laughed and responded, "So you are a survivor..."and we both laughed. She then said something that caught me off guard, "You look great out there...no matter how much you are running around, you are doing it with a smile." I know that I look frantic when keeping up with all 4 kiddos, and I have always assumed I looked, well, crazy...defeated...overwhelmed...but a woman I did not know paid me a huge compliment and said I did it with a smile. She also gave me many more words of encouragement and I felt SO GOOD after talking to her.


• After naptime, Kev got home and me and Katelyn were out the door...we had to run to the mall and exchange a couple of things. We strolled around the mall for a little bit, tried on pretty necklaces and looked at pretty clothes. Her favorite are shiny belts right now :)


• Then, off to dinner with my girl...which was a blast! She LOVES going out to eat at restaurants...always a special occassion....and her and I rarely get this opportunity. So we decided a special dinner needed a cupcake. We sat there and chatted...and she looked at me and said, "We are going to be friends forever Mom..." Loved it...and love her!


• Then we headed to watch my niece, Kyleigh, in her FIRST dance competition. It was so fun to see her on stage and dancing so well! She did great! KK was in awe the whole time. To top things off, her team won GOLD....Yay!


• Now I am home, kids in bed and the hubs and I are going to finish the day with a movie. So many wonderful things to be thankful for on the Good Friday. Blessed that Jesus died for my sins...for all our sins....I am looking forward to an amazing and uplifting Easter weekend.

Have a great weekend!

Wrong side of the bed & Parenting

That was me this morning....I was in such a bad mood when I rolled out of bed and it was ONLY 6:27 am....that can't be good...granted it had been a rough night due to lil' man. He thought it would be fun to take an hour and a half eating a bottle. Up side was that I caught up on some DVR.

However, it's not like I am up every night....Kev does alot of late night feedings. I usually pump before bedtime and leave a bottle on the counter ready to go for the middle of the night feeding, however, Kev had to be up early this morning for work, so I did the longest feeding ever. Then he decided to get up for good all of an 2 hours later.

So, granted I woke up exhausted, I also woke up feeling defeated. First thought, I do not have the energy to get through this day with the kiddos..... Sad, huh?

But it definitely takes a certain mindset to get through the physical and emotional ups and downs of a day home with 4 kiddos. With the ages of 3 (little Miss Independent, that feels that she is capable of making all decisions) 18 months x 2 (still working on communication, which is frustrating for both boys which ends in tears alot of times) and 9 weeks (nurse...nurse...nurse when we can fit it in and a few moments of bonding), a day at home can include many tantrums, tears and unknowns. Don't get me wrong, I love it, and I love each of them, and we are all learning our routine. I wouldn't change hanging out with my kiddos because they bring FAR MORE (AND MORE AND MORE) smiles and moments of bliss than anything....but it is definitely exhausting and when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed...well, that does not help!

Anyway...we started our usual routine of breakfast for the boys, nursing the munchkin...and then KK usually heads in and is ready for some cereal. We enjoy a little Mickey Mouse, and as all the kids are situated and happy, I sit down with a quick breakfast and my computer...I check my e-mail, my bank account, peruse my favorite blogs and of course, Facebook. On a friend's status update she had the following: Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility - thegospelcoalition.org.

Well, you had me at the name...and it is exactly what I needed today. It really moved me and helped put things in perspective for me. God is truly amazing. I have posting the link below:

Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility

So, needless to say, today has turned out to be a great day. Time to color, read and use moments of trial within the children to teach. It truly made me appreciate my kiddos more and my role as a parent.

Off to play with the kiddos some more :)

Don't you fox me.....

Is one of the many lines you will hear in my household on a daily basis...let me explain...KK is 2 1/2 years old and has been developing quite a "diva-like" personality. She is testing waters and boundaries and we are quickly developing the rights and wrongs, while choosing our battles carefully.

She has begun to "talk back" at times, and usually we can nip it in the bud without much fuss, however, when she is feeling especially feisty she makes this odd noise (and face for that matter) in order to "talk back" without "talking about". The first time this happened...I wanted to giggle because it is quite funny, however, once you laugh as a parent you have lost all leverage. So I looked at her and asked what she was doing and as serious as can be, she told me she was being a fox. Still not really sure where this came from....but now it is apart of our lives.

However, now when she says it...I do not feel like laughing...it actually bothers me because I know she is trying to sass me, so therefore, out of my mouth comes "Don't you fox me...." as serious as can be. Ahh...parenting...cracks me up sometimes.

Lessons learned from our children....

I love the sweet and kind nature of children....I think when I truly let myself put aside all the "to-do's" of the day and sit down with my kiddos...I am my happiest. They truly enjoy the moments...the smiles and the laughs. Nothing is better than the laughter of a child.

Katelyn does this big laugh, throws her head back and puts her hand over her mouth...also her eyes disappear. It is adorable.

Carter and Bryce are developing their own laughs as well.

Carter has a giggle...he is super ticklish and a huge smile comes over his face and he has the sweetest dimples.

Bryce's laugh is more like a grunt/laugh. It cracks me up....he is almost like a little hyena. His laughter is contagious.

Honesty is another amazing lesson from kiddos. Katelyn just tells it how it is....when my room is a mess...(more like, my room is a mess) and KK walks-in and tells me about it. Cooking...if she doesn't like it, I know it. Not rudely, of course, just so matter of fact.

One of the best habits she has gotten us in as a family is to eat dinner at the table. It randomly happened one night...I had been cooking dinner and usually we would turn on the tv and sit in the living room and eat. She would get in her high chair and we would absentmindedly eat dinner. Then one night she asked, "Eat at table?"...what was sad was I almost said, "no, let's just eat in the living room." WHAT!?! What a horrible mom...all she wanted to do was sit at the table with her family. So now every night we eat dinner at the table together and we hear about her day and tell her about ours. Such a wonderful tradition to start now.

I look forward to all the traditions that we will have with our family. My kiddos add so much to my life. I LOVE being a momma!

My life as a Mommy....

Becoming a Mommy changes everything....and yet nothing at all. Prior to having a baby, my life consisted of hubby, work and my friends. The hubs and I were quite social. We enjoyed going out and eating at a great steak (The Ranch...yummy!), going to have wings and beer to watch a good game and staying up late and sleeping in late whenever possible. I also cherished my girl time with my best friends. We spent each and everything Thursday at a biker bar listening to friends of ours play music while we ate chips & queso while having a beer.

I LOVED my time out...my plans, my time schedule, my way....until that Thursday night that I took the test....and it showed two lines instead of just one. I was pregnant....and from that point on it wasn't about me. I then dove into any .com that mentioned pregnancy and baby, books that contained millions of names, and shopped on-line for anything that was little and cute. I broke the news to my closest girlfriends by an e-mail letting them know that I would not be on our annual girls trip because I would be 7 1/2 months pregnant....this was followed by many congratulatory e-mails and excitement! It made my heart swell to have such love and support!

But of course life happens and the excitement wears off...well for everyone except me because this was my first pregnancy...I was having a BABY! At first I was sad when I heard all the girls were going out...and I wouldn't be going...I would get the invite and have the best intentions, but by the time I got off work, I was so sleepy....bedtime was 8pm to me....and then as I got bigger, I didn't want to be the prego girl in the bar :) But then I realized...that I really didn't care...not that I didn't miss my girl time, but I knew that I would rather be home or with family talking about plans for the baby. Sitting on the couch and feeling the movement of my baby girl (which I found out on my 26th birthday....that was followed with a surprise party from my hubs and BF). Kev and I would just stare at my stomach...it never got old...after I had KK, it still never got old. We spent hours watching her sleep and watching her breathe in and out. Then seeing her smiles, and her tummy time turn to crawl time...which quickly turned into pulling up and walking. Now she entertains me with stories of her day and a vivid imagination.

My second pregnancy, I knew what was to come...and two of my girlfriends were pregnant for the first time. It was fun to tell stories and lean on each other for questions and concerns. It funny how things changed...they looked to me for answers!

I now enjoy my time home and the short hours I have with my kiddos at night before cooking dinner, doing laundry and washing clothes takes over. Sometimes I just let the house go crazy because I would rather have fun with my smiling and giggly children then do chores....and I have to tell myself that it is okay. My big evening out that I look forward too is loading up the kiddos and walking the mall or heading outside to run in the backyard.

So all and all....I still get to do what I want...but this time I get to share it with my kids. It is funny how priorities change from one part of life to the next....I felt content and fulfilled prior to kids with a great husband and family and friends....and then I had children, which all of a sudden filled me up even more...and has challenged me in a way that keeps me learning everyday. I love being a mom....I never knew I would this much. I have a new found respect for my mom and the love she had for all of us. It is such a protective love. I am so blessed.

My March Resolutions....

So resolutions are supposed to happen in January...however, since I have fallen off the face of the earth since then (at least in blog world) I figured I would start now. My whole reason of starting a blog was to document my life....and become an famous blogger...okay...scratch that...:) Really....just to have a daily entry of what is going on, and how my kids and well, family are growing. With 8-month old twin boys and a 2 year old daughter....something new seems to happen each day. I have realized that I am horrible at keeping up a baby book (I want to apologize NOW to my kiddos) and although I take lots of photos...it is now only in spurts....I will take 100 pictures in a matter of two days....and then break for 1 month....so back to the resolution part....I am taking the vow to blog at least 3-4 times a week. This is actually very relaxing, banging on the keys of my laptop and letting my thoughts be put into print in the world wide web.

So, to make a long story short from last post to current.....here are a few things:

Carter - He is now weighing in at almost 20 pounds. He is my round lil' man and has so much dark hair!! He also has crazy hairy eyebrows (which I noticed tonight before bathtime) and I think we are going to have to attack him with wax as he gets older if he continues to grow hair as he does now. He has the best set of cheeks...they are big and kissable. He is, well, cotent to just sit in one spot and play with a toy forever. He can get to tummy position from sitting and roll to get anywhere, but he will not crawl. He started sitting up at a week past 7 months and has wonderful posture...but when it comes to moving, it just isn't happening. Cracks me up really....when he gets on his tummy he moves his arms and legs like crazy and smiles so big....I swear he is wondering to himself "Why am I not going anywhere?". At least this is what me and my mom think. He hates formula....I had nursed up to 8 months and due to circumstances, I had to quit nursing....so the switch has not been a good one for him. He eats three meals a day and refuses bottles. However, we have started sippy cups with milk (the real deal) and he really seems excited about that. He is such a little bear...I just love him! Oh, he did start clapping first and waving hello....it is not done on command yet, but he loves to talk and wave...and clap for himself! He still hasn't got down the art of self-feed, but he sure does like to grab lots of snacks in each hand and play with them. He is such a sweet kid, without a mischevious side to him. Just this honest, loving and kind-hearted face. Oh, and he has various names that we all refer to him....Carter Man, Carter Barter (said best by KK), lil' man....I am sure there will be more...

Bryce....oh my little Bryce....he is EVERYWHERE!! When he turned 7 months old he sat up on his own....3 days later, he leaned forward and started rocking on all fours....6 days later he started crawling and hasn't stopped....he is afraid of nothing. You can walk out of a room and he follows right behind...he will go down a dark hall by himself without a second thought. He loves to crawl to Sutton's (our dog) bowl. He won't self feed his yummy puffy snacks, however, a little kibble and bits go straight for the mouth. I don't get it :) He is now pulling up on various things and I give hime about another 6-8 weeks before he is walking...he is so determined to get somewhere, anywhere. He takes advantage of bubba not crawling too. He will go and steal a toy and just crawl off....you would think, "How mean?", but then you look at his sweet, little face with a huge smile and runny nose (always) and you just want to kiss him. He is my mischevious one....you can just see it, but then the eyes get you and you forget that he is up to something. He is weighing in at about 18 pounds....he is long and skinny....but he eats TWICE as much as his brother. Still haven't figured this out....he did not care at all when he was switched to formula...if it is in a bottle or on a spoon, he says "Yes, please!".

Both boys are so amazing together....they are so aware of each other....when they go to bed at night, first let me say, they are AMAZING sleepers...7:30p-7:00a....they know each other is there. They talk to each other and sooth each other from their own crib. Carter usually does most of the talking, and Bryce will lay there and pull the covers close and just listen and chime in on occassion. Bryce is usually the first to rise...and he will now greet you by sitting on his knees and holding on to the crib. They keep each other company as I am getting KK ready for bed. Carter is still my patient one and Bryce is more demanding. The personalities are so amazing to me. I love seeing how they come out more and more everyday.

Little Miss Katelyn....aka....KK....she is my princess. Perfect....no....huge heart and sweetest smile....yep! She has her days, like us all, and she acts her age at times, but for the most part, she really surprises me everyday with her love and understanding. She LOVES school....Fruit Loop Friday, all the art projects, the instruments and games. Her Montessori school is such a blessing. She is so self-sufficient in so many ways....and she is developing such great habits. She is also developing her brain. She loves letters, numbers and puzzles. She sings...but not only that, she performs. She has such confidence. I swear she is going to be on stage one day :) She tries to sound so grownup sometimes....I have to remind myself that she too is still so little. She loves clothes and shoes. We have fun every morning getting ready. She LOVES a pair of brown shoes she has from Striderite and she wants to wear them almost everyday. Sometimes I hide them from her when I want her to wear another pair...tehehehe. She is still a huge help with her brothers and never pitches a fit when it comes to me having to get the boys bathed and fed and ready for bed. She will just get a coloring book and hang out while I am taking care of things and she will show the boys and I what she is doing and then we make the most of our time together after the boys go down. The biggest thing in her life right now is.....the potty!! She has been doing great!! She is in panties during the day and pull ups at night. She rarely has accidents and is actually starting to tell me when she needs to go and not me ask her 1,000 times...This is crazy to me that my little girl is potty-training....this is such a HUGE step. I am so proud of her...she loves being a big girl! Not to mention the M&m she gets each time she goes. The best part of potty training that I hope I always remember is that instead of going #2 she tells me she needs to make a dinosaur....now that is a memory...that I can't wait to share with one of her boyfriends....okay...that would be cruel (but funny)...and I would never do that....but I can't say her father won't!

Baby #4....that's right...I said baby #4....we found out a week ago that I am expecting baby #4 (sorry, I have to keep writing it to believe it :) ) It is still so surreal.....I am so excited with the combination of so many other thoughts and feelings, but above all, so appreciative. Kev and I said that we wanted a big family, and 4 kiddos always felt right. I had no idea that they would all come so quickly, but what an amazing journey this will be. I am 6 weeks along and I am praying for a wonderful and healthy pregnancy and baby. We are not going to find out what we are having so we will be completely surprised. I have my first appt. March 30th. With my first two pregnancies I tried months to get pregnant without luck and then I had to take meds to have my sweet lil' kiddos....and this just happened. God is amazing! So as it is looking....I will have a 2 year old (turning 3 about a week and a half later), 2 16 month olds and a newborn....whoa! Good thing I have a wonderful hubby, a great family, a strong faith, amazing friends and my mom.

Well, that is what is going on....Kev and I are just trying to keep up :) Until tomorrow....

okay...so I lied...but anyway...

Well...I had the intention of blogging this week...but this week has proven to be more challenging than expected. So I am back and ready to hit the ground running!

So one of my favorite things I have done as a mom is the "holiday" party. Since Katelyn has started her Montessori school in August I have had the pleasure of attending the Halloween and Christmas party. Sooooo fun!!

The best part is about 2 weeks prior to the party they have a super cute sign up sheet at the front desk, which means as a proud momma, I get to participate. So far, I am "cups and napkins" mom. So I love going to Hobby Lobby and finding the cutest ones possible.

Also, I love to get Katelyn all dressed up for her parties in whatever cute ensemble I can come up with...or huge bow that looks bigger than her head :) I have a pretty strong bow policy...so this is just another opportunity to find the perfect one.

For the Christmas party her two year old class, or as they are known, "Busy Bee's", had to bring a wrapped gift for a gift exchange. How cute is that? Girls bought for girls, boys for boys and there was a $6 limit. We went with a "My Little Pony"...I mean what girl could resist that?

The only thing better than gifts...the FOOD! I mean seriously...look at this spread

Please note cute napkins and matching red cups :)

The kids feasted on cheeto puffs...ranch dressing...cupcakes....cookies and fruit punch....all your basic food groups of course! It was a messy and fabulous afternoon. Kevin and I (and the boys) had a great time hanging out with Katelyn and her friends. I am already ready for February and the Valentine's party....on the lookout for the perfect napkin and cups, not to mention the V-day cards that KK will hand out!

I will leave you with a few more pics of the wonderful afternoon!

And so it begins....

Today it begins....part-time...I have mixed reviews. Growing up I had always wanted to be a "Stay-at-home" mom. I just knew that was my calling. Until, I was 26 and was on maternity leave. I found that I actually missed my being at work.

Crazy?

Maybe...but at the time I had been at my job for 2 years and had developed friendships with a group of amazing people. They were my second family. I mean...come on...I spent at least 40 hours a week there and they loved hearing my stories about my new baby girl. They loved hearing about every doctor's appointment, threw me the best and most surprising shower and came up to see us at the hospital. So going back seemed natural...not to mention financially it made sense. Young married couple, young child...we both needed to work.

Now,with 3 kids under my belt...I have been back at work full-time for 12 weeks and due to circumstances out of my control, I will be part-time from now until June and then I will be gone. Makes me sad...but with daycare, gas and insurance costs...it just doesn't add up!

So now I work Monday-Wednesday and I am off every Thursday and Friday...4 day weekend fun...low pay...not so fun! I know that opportunities present themselves and that the Lord has a plan that I will wait patiently (as patiently as possible) to unfold before me. Keeping eyes and ears...and most importantly heart...wide open!

I do admire those that stay home. I think mothers in general are the most selfless folk...but stay at home mom's take the cake!! To do it all and with a smile on is amazing. It takes me and an army to get through a week...and I am still staring at loads of clean laundry that needs to be folded, dirty laundry that needs to be washed and the constant question of "What can I make for dinner in 3 min flat that my two year old will actually eat"....

So, please wish me luck on the next step in life. I am excited, nervous and happy to see what comes next.

Bedtime...

So bedtime is my least favorite time of day...it always turns into a battle...that I lose. Our two year daughter, KK began sleeping in her crib through the night at 4 months old. She was such a champ!

We then had an issue...aka "attack of the fleas" and moved in with my parents for 8 weeks when she was 6-8 months....then we had to re-train her to get back into her crib. No problem...she was back in her crib sleeping like a baby...

Fast forward to today...she flat out refuses to sleep in her room. She has the sweetest little bed and LOVES being in her room during the day...but come nightfall she wants nothing to do with it.

I do realize that I am going to have to bite the bullet...and pull a "Supernanny" in order to get her back into her bed. I just do not have the heart..or patience really to last it out...I am TIRED...having infant twins had made me extremely tired....and they are great kids, but everything times two can be quite exhausting!!

So for now, I am going to let my sweet little wiggle worm daughter sleep next to me. I am not going to lie, as much as I want her in her big girl bed...there is nothing like waking up to her sweet little smile. She is such an amazing little girl!